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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30102840">blame it on the girls</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/olandesevolante/pseuds/olandesevolante'>olandesevolante</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Break Up, Getting Back Together, Light-Hearted, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:16:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,557</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30102840</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/olandesevolante/pseuds/olandesevolante</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian knows he’s been stupid and he’s suffering because he’s been stupid, but he would probably do it again if he could go back in time. If this means that he is that much in love with Lewis or if it means that he is that much stupid, he doesn’t know.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>blame it on the girls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>- partially inspired by Lewis recently talking about wanting to get a family, partly by listening to "Blame it on the girls" by Mika, which gives this story also its title;<br/>- the races follow the calendar of this season, all the girls named are completely made up;<br/>- English isn't my first language, I apologize for every mistake.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Life could be simple but you never fail </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> to complicate it every single time. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> (Blame it on the girls - Mika) </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Sebastian breaks up with Lewis just right after the season ends. </p>
<p><em> I need some time only for myself </em>, he says, and Lewis - it’s not that Lewis doesn’t get it, this season is going to be important for Sebastian, it’s going to be the first season with a new team, it’s his great chance to remember to everyone the driver that won the title four times. </p>
<p>Still, when Sebastian leaves him, Lewis is at a loss, at start. He had plans for the break that all involved Sebastian (namely: convincing Sebastian to join him on a beautiful Caribbean island, then bring him to his house in the States, which would have been difficult because Sebastian for sure would have wanted to be in Silverstone as soon as possible, but Lewis would still have tried). All his plans are now up in smoke.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>It takes weeks before they talk again. When Sebastian calls him, he’s on the famous Caribbean island, not wasted but getting there. A girl - stunning, with big green eyes and caramel skin - is pressed into his side, when he picks up the call. </p>
<p>«I have finally sold the house in Maranello.»</p>
<p>«Okay.» It’s all Lewis answers. It’s not that he doesn’t want to speak with him, actually, speaking with him is all he really wants. But he wants to tell Sebastian<em> I wish you were here </em> and a lot of other things that he can’t tell Sebastian anymore, and it hurts even with all the alcohol he drank and the beautiful girl looking at him with such adoring eyes. So he closes the call in a hurry, and tries to forget about the phone by kissing the girl. What’s even her name, he never asked.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>On the other side of the line, Sebastian closes his eyes and tries not to picture Lewis - Lewis on a beach with white sand, Lewis taking a sip of his fruity cocktail and then giving him one of those happy smiles that makes the skin around his eyes crinkle, Lewis holding him all night long.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>The day after, completely hungover, Lewis wakes up and calls Sebastian. <em> It’s over </em> , he just says, <em> don’t do it again </em>, continues, without leaving him the time to answer and then closes the call. And then it finally hits him - Sebastian broke up with him. </p>
<p>He is in one of the most beautiful places in the world and he suddenly doesn’t want to leave the house he rented anymore. He starts a rewatch of his favourite TV series, gets the fattest tub of ice cream he can find, and ignores the pleads of his brother to come out and drown his sorrows in the beautiful landscapes that surround them. </p>
<p>This lasts for four days. On the fifth morning, Lewis wakes up thinking: <em> fuck Sebastian Vettel </em>.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>The season starts with testing in Bahrain, and Lewis first represses a shiver at being again in the hotel where he spent his quarantine, represses more when he remembers all the calls and texts Sebastan sent him when he was sick. <em> Were you already thinking of leaving me when you called me ten times in a day because you didn’t like how my voice sounded? </em></p>
<p>It’s the past, he thinks, he’s not that person anymore. He’s now talking on Instagram with this girl, Diane, a beautiful French model, and when testing will be over they’re already planning to meet in Monaco. </p>
<p>When he sees Sebastian - clad in that green that does wonders to his eyes - he feels only a little sting in his chest. <em> Diane </em>, he thinks. He doesn’t need Sebastian.</p>
<p>Lewis busies himself with talking with Valtteri, listens to his stories about rallying in the snow in Finland. He gives a brief hug to George when he approaches the Mercedes drivers, flashes him a smile when he asks about having to address him with <em> sir </em>now. He answers Pierre with a nod when he passes next to him and speeds towards Charles. He sees Sebastian, then.</p>
<p>«Hey,» says Lewis first. </p>
<p>«Hey,» answers Sebastian. His smile, hesitant, doesn’t really seem to reach his eyes. It’s a handful of embarrassed seconds of silence, before Daniel claps Lewis on the back, cheerful like only Daniel can always be, and Sebastian takes this distraction to join Lance.</p>
<p>It’s the first time they speak since that call, if Lewis could call this <em> speak </em>.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>«Lewis is acting weird,» says Daniel.</p>
<p>«Mmm?» Sebastian pretends to be only mildly interested in what Daniel is saying. </p>
<p>«He showed me the pictures of a girl yesterday on Instagram. Which - I mean, it’s Lewis, it’s not weird. But in the last years he didn’t want to show me who he was texting, and today he couldn’t stop talking about her. You think he’s found the right one, finally?»</p>
<p>Sebastian raises an eyebrow. «It’s Lewis. Do you think he’ll ever find the right one?»</p>
<p>He pretends he doesn’t feel something icy running down his spine at the mere thought of someone else sharing a bed with Lewis.</p>
<p><em> Not already </em> , he thinks. <em> Later, it will be fine, but now it feels cheap, Lew. </em></p>
<p>Daniel shrugs, then knocks the cap Sebastian is wearing off and grins at him.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>His real first thought is that Lewis is just trying to make him jealous. Knowing him, he must have hooked up with some incredibly beautiful girl, and in some days he is going to see on the tabloids pictures of him coming out of a house, and her following some minutes after. Which is exactly what happens, and he remembers these thoughts when he absent-mindedly scrolls through the news and sees exactly the situation he pictured.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>When they meet in the paddock in Portimão, Sebastian gives him a half smile, hidden anyway by the mask, while Lewis talks to him like nothing happened between them - except for the part that he doesn’t really say anything apart from some pleasantries.</p>
<p>Sebastian itches with the desire of asking, <em> what about that girl </em>, and doesn’t find the necessary strength to do it. </p>
<p>Lewis acts like he didn’t get his heart broken by Sebastian just a bunch of months ago, but Sebastian does, even if it was him who did the breaking. </p>
<p>He is doing well enough, for his first season with a new car, so why doesn’t it all feel as good as it should?</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Sebastian wins his first race with Aston Martin in Montmeló, it’s his first win after Singapore 2019, finally. It’s liberatory, to be sitting on the highest step of the podium and hearing the German anthem playing for him today, and not for a Mercedes driver. </p>
<p>Lewis sits in third position and he has barely said any congratulations. Sebastian likes to think it’s because a stupid mistake not even caused by hum damaged his front rear and made him lose positions - every explanation is good if it makes him ignore the feeling of something lacking in what should be his happiest day in motorsport in the last two years.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>He overhears Lewis talking with Daniel and Max. Her name is Aline, he is saying. She is Brazilian, apparently. For some seconds Sebastian wonders what Lance will say if he asks him to borrow his phone to look for her on Instagram - maybe he could ask Charles again, it wouldn’t be a new request and it’s not like Charles has ever refused him anything, except to act like a good teammate during the races. </p>
<p>Mick is looking at him with expectant eyes (maybe he can ask Mick, actually, now that he thinks of it, Mick wouldn’t ask him too many questions. He wonders if on Instagram you can erase the search history like on Google). He didn’t hear whatever it is that Mick asked him and he’s now too much focused in ignoring the thought of Lewis talking, seeing, sleeping with any beautiful Brazilian woman he can think of to ask Mick to repeat what he said. </p>
<p>«You’ve been talking with her for how long now?» he hears Daniel ask. Lewis’ answer doesn’t come straight to his ears, but then Daniel says, «oh, so it’s not only a one night stand, then,» and Max adds something too, and Sebastian doesn’t resist, points his head towards their table, his eyes meeting Lewis’. </p>
<p>Lewis jumps on the chair, like he hadn’t realized until now that Sebastian was here too, listening to what he has to say. It’s barely a second, and then he turns his attention back to Daniel.</p>
<p>«You should see her, Dan. She has those long legs that -»</p>
<p>Sebastian doesn’t know what those legs do. He excuses himself to Mick and leaves the room without daring to watch in Lewis’ direction again.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>(Had he done so, he would have seen the hurt clearly flashing in Lewis’ eyes.)</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>They stumble into the same bed at the Grand Prix of Austria.</p>
<p>They shouldn’t have done it, but they also shouldn’t have drunk so much wine and they also shouldn’t have sit down so close at the same table at dinner with some other pilots, close enough for them to play a game all evening that they lost the control of until they were kissing in the lounge and then having sex in Sebastian’s room. It’s been easy to fall into what now is an old habit once again.</p>
<p>«Fuck,» says Lewis, coming down from the haze of the orgasm and rubbing his face with his hands. </p>
<p>«Yeah,» comments Sebastian. He throws a glance over to Lewis, who looks incredibly uncomfortable for a man that has never looked uncomfortable in this situation. At least, not with him.</p>
<p>«I should leave,» he mutters, grabbing his clothes from the floor. Sebastian can’t find anything reasonable to object, even if he wants to.</p>
<p>Lewis is already at the door, when Sebastian stands up, sweaty and more than just half naked. «Lewis?» he says, and Lewis turns back, looks at him in the eyes. Sebastian clears his throat, opens his mouth, no sound comes out of it. Clears his throat again. «Nothing. See you on the grid.»</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>«Are you okay?»</p>
<p>«Sure, why are you even asking?»</p>
<p>Charles fidgets with the plastic spoon in his teacup. «You didn’t look great in the last race. And today too, you’re not yourself.»</p>
<p>Of course, of all the people in the paddock the one that picked up that there’s something wrong with him had to be Charles. At least this time he can’t use his discovery to get ahead of him in the team, he thinks bitterly, before feeling guilty for it. Charles is actually looking at him with what looks like real concern. </p>
<p>«I’ve just not been physically fine, it’s nothing.» He eyes Lewis while he speaks, watches him sitting relaxed with Daniel and laughing.</p>
<p>Charles follows the line of his gaze. «Yeah. <em> Not been physically fine </em>.»</p>
<p>Sebastian elbows him, Charles lets the cup fall on the floor, both Lewis and Daniel turn around and watch them, and Sebastian wonders if he will ever be free from the damages Charles creates. </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>(That weekend, Charles wins the race, Lewis comes only second and Sebastian gets an engine failure. He wonders if Charles didn’t actually find a way to sabotage him, after the accident with the tea.)</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>At the race in the Netherlands, Lewis arrives with Aline in the paddock.</p>
<p>Sebastian doesn’t know that until they don’t accidentally meet after having completed the track walk.</p>
<p>«This is Sebastian. Sebastian, this is Aline.» He envies the way in which Lewis can pretend this well that there has never been anything between them, that this is like he’s making presentations to Daniel or Valtteri instead of the man he’s had a story with for more than three years. </p>
<p>She is everything you would expect from Lewis Hamilton’s girlfriend: more than beautiful, soft spoken, gracious, in one word - perfect. But Lewis isn’t looking at her with the eyes he used to look at him.</p>
<p>Sebastian feels a flicker of hope in his chest. <em> Maybe not everything is lost </em>.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>«Do you like her?»</p>
<p>«She’s nice.» Sebastian wonders if that’s how he spoke of him with his friends, when they had a relationship. <em> He’s nice </em>. He hopes that’s really not the best he could come up with when talking about Sebastian, he hopes that Lewis at least has filled his description with a comment about his racing skills,if he really couldn’t find anything else to say.</p>
<p>His phone rings for the fourth time since they met for that forced lunch together while the mechanics work on their cars. Lewis just gives it a brief glance, before not returning the call and focusing back on his food.</p>
<p>«Is it her?»</p>
<p>Lewis tenses. «Yeah.»</p>
<p>Sebastian pushes his pasta around in his plate with the fork. «Maybe she needs something.»</p>
<p>«She doesn’t.» Lewis takes up his water bottle and leaves the table, just like that. Sebastian wonders if the icy atmosphere left is due to the topic of their conversation or if there actually is something else.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>«You brought this on yourself,» just says Kimi when Sebastian complains with him and, <em> fuck </em>, he is right, but this doesn’t make it less painful.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>It happens again after the Grand Prix of Japan. Sebastian plasters Lewis against a wall and kisses him, fumbling through the pockets of his clothes to look for the keys of the room and Lewis doesn’t even make a small move to try and stop him, so much that Sebastian thinks that that’s exactly what Lewis wanted to happen this night. He arrived only 5th today, while Lewis won. Again. </p>
<p>Sebastian’s keys drop to the floor, and Lewis is faster at picking them up, and he’s about to open Sebastian’s room, when Sebastian asks: «What about Aline?» He has had to see her all the weekend, she’s been right by Lewis’ side at every possible moment.</p>
<p>Lewis just shrugs, but doesn’t attempt to open the door anymore. </p>
<p>«It isn’t fair.»</p>
<p>«To whom, to you or to her?» Lewis spits this with more frustration that he has ever shown about the end of their relationship.</p>
<p>Sebastian reaches for his hand, and Lewis recoils. «Fuck you.»</p>
<p>«I miss you.»</p>
<p>«Still. Fuck you.» But Sebastian can see the way his eyes look so fragile now. «<em> You </em> broke up with me.»</p>
<p>«I know. I’ve been stupid.»</p>
<p>«Just. Just fuck off, Sebastian.» It sounds almost like a plea, and Sebastian can feel his own heart breaking at Lewis with that weak tone of voice. He can only watch Lewis leave, clueless.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>«What’s wrong?» Sebastian loves Kimi and he’s always happy they can often travel back home together. Unfortunately, Kimi is also the person in the paddock that knows him best.</p>
<p>«Did you kiss him?»</p>
<p>«No, he did - wait, how did you --?»</p>
<p>Kimi gives him such a judging look. «You look like someone kicked your dog. I’d have said it was because of the race, but I saw you leaving just after Lewis, yesterday.»</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Lewis seems to be destined to get his eighth title, Aline is still around, she lasted almost all season next to Lewis and Sebastian is almost tempted to believe that Lewis is really in love with her. Almost.</p>
<p>It’s the Grand Prix of Brazil and Sebastian has crashed his car in the FP3. Nothing too serious for him, but the car needs to be repaired to work on it, and he just hopes his mechanics will work the magic once again, feeling sorry for the extra work he has given them.</p>
<p>He is not surprised when Lewis comes to see him, after.</p>
<p>«I saw the images of the crash. Hope the car is not too damaged for tomorrow.»</p>
<p>Sebastian grimaces. In addition to that, he’s also surely going to lose some more positions before the race even starts, this Grand Prix already sounds like hell. </p>
<p>Lewis’ phone rings. He picks it up. <em> Yeah, I am finished </em> , Sebastian hears him say. <em> I’ll come back soon. Love you too </em>.</p>
<p>«Do you, really?» Lewis just looks at him confused. «Love her, I mean. It’s been less than a year, after all.»</p>
<p>Maybe he can say it’s because of the crash that he said this, he thinks, when he sees fury on Lewis’ face. </p>
<p>«This isn’t fucking fair.» Lewis is staring hard at him, any trace of the softness he had when he entered the room completely gone. «You don’t get the right to tell me this.»</p>
<p>Sebastian knows he is right and knows all he should do now should be to shut up, maybe apologize. He also knows this is not what he’ll do, not when he is already thinking that <em> she doesn’t love you as much as I do </em>, which would already be too much wrong to say now. «You don’t love her as much as you love me,» he ends up saying instead, completely ruining every chance he had of saving a semblance of friendship with Lewis.  </p>
<p>«You’re the one that ended it.» Lewis looks helpless, says this with a thin voice only when Sebastian was already prepared for the fire.</p>
<p>«I was wrong! I still love you, Lewis.»</p>
<p>Lewis falters, shakes his head. «It’s too late,» he just says and then leaves the room.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>That evening Sebastian is already in bed (reading, sure he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep any time soon tonight) when Lewis storms into his room and scares him.</p>
<p>«How did you even get the key?!»</p>
<p>It’s like he didn’t say a word. «Why did you do it?» </p>
<p>Lewis is staring at him with one of those proverbial gazes that could kill. «I know it wasn’t fair to say it but -»</p>
<p>«No, why did you break up with me if you are still in love with me.»</p>
<p>Sebastian closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. «I -»</p>
<p>«Don’t fucking tell me again it’s because you wanted to focus on the season. Give me the fucking truth.»</p>
<p>Sebastian just can’t keep it for himself anymore. «I saw your interview at the end of the last season, where you said that your biggest dream after becoming a racing driver has always been creating your own family, having your own children.»</p>
<p>Lewis furrows his brows. «And?»</p>
<p>Sebastian feels very uncomfortable under his eyes, suddenly. «You can’t have a family with your own children if you are with me.»</p>
<p>Only silence follows his words, Lewis seems petrified and Sebastian is cursing his inability of keeping a secret he promised himself he would keep. </p>
<p>«Say it again.» Lewis pinches his nose, and halts Sebastian who was just about to repeat his words, and adds: «You are so stupid, I can’t believe it.»</p>
<p>And Sebastian - he knows he’s been stupid and he’s suffering because he’s been stupid, but he would probably do it again if he could go back in time. If this means that he is that much in love with Lewis or if it means that he is that much stupid, he doesn’t know. </p>
<p>«I said that I wanted to fill my house with a family and I meant you, you idiot.»</p>
<p>It’s Sebastian’s turn to look at Lewis furrowing his brows.</p>
<p>«You were about to start racing with an English team and you needed to look for a house there, so that house I was talking about, the one I wanted to fill with a <em> family </em>- I meant that I wanted to have you in it.»</p>
<p>Oh. <em> Oh </em>.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Lewis wins the Grand Prix of Saudi Arabia and he is crowned champion for the eighth time. Sebastian arrives second after an extenuating battle with Max, and throws himself at Lewis as soon as he manages to get out of the car, like there has been nothing weird between them this season.</p>
<p>«You are making so much more than history now, you have just become a living legend.» Lewis’ eyes are full of tears - happy ones - and his face lights up when he can finally look at Sebastian’s face, both smiling hopelessly at each other. It’s only when Max arrives and claps on Lewis’ back that they remember where they actually are.</p>
<p>At the ceremony on the podium, Sebastian can’t tear his eyes away from the happiness that Lewis radiates.</p>
<p>Only later, much later, when Lewis has finished celebrating with his team and has taken a shower because <em> I’m not seeing you reeking of champagne like this </em>, that Sebastian can finally have Lewis for himself, without anyone around. </p>
<p>«Are you coming in?» just says Lewis when Sebastian knocks at the door of his hotel room. He seems bright, light, lighter than he has seen him in all season. Sebastian has taken just one step into it and Lewis is already pulling him against his body, hiding his face where the shoulder meets the neck, breathing in his scent. </p>
<p>«Did you miss me?» asks Sebastian between affectionate laughs.</p>
<p>«Maybe.»</p>
<p>«Maybe?» Lewis raises his head and looks at him, waiting for more. «I have surely missed you. I’ve dreamt of you suffocating me again like this all the season.»</p>
<p>Lewis pushes him away, but Sebastian is faster and grips him by the wrists, holding him close again. «I’m sorry.»</p>
<p>«Mmm. Don’t do it again, ever.»</p>
<p>Sebastian presses a kiss on the left side of his forehead. Him and Lewis and a house together in England. It can sound like family.</p>
<p> </p>
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